Resilience - A much needed skill for children

Resilience – A much needed skill for Children

By Sally Forrest
BSc, MRPharmS, MBA.
11th September 2018

Resilience is the ability to pick yourself up when things do not go your way.
The ability to recover from setbacks and difficulties, the ability to have mental toughness.

Resilience is a skill that can be taught in children (and adults) and the earlier it is taught; the better life will become.
Life will not always go the way we expect it to, and this statement alone will change the way your child reacts to life.

Life often throws us a curve ball; Death of a loved one, Divorce, Redundancy, Moving Country, Loss of a Pet …the list is endless. The question we have to answer is “How do we deal with this new situation and how do we get our life back on track?"

Children are tough!
Do not treat them otherwise. Expose them to the Ups and Downs that life throws their way.

How can you develop Resilience in your child? Here are 4 easy steps:

1)    Talk OpenlyTalk about how you have dealt with issues in your own past, how did you feel, what actions did you take to get back on track and how you managed to turn life around once more.

2)    Expose them to other people’s experiences.If a friend has an issue then do not be the only one who offers support. Discuss the situation openly in the family and expose your children to life’s challenges at an early age.

3)    Accept that Change is normal.If we expect that life will always be the same, then we will sadly be disappointed. Explain to your child the concept of life cycles, show them this in nature. At an early age get them to understand that everything will one day pass away. Demonstrate this with the seasons in nature - the leaves fall, the grass grows and is harvested, butterflies are here for a short time and then move on.
The sooner we all accept that each day that passes is one less day we have to live on this wonderful planet, then the sooner we start to appreciate all the good things we have in life.

4)    Nurture positivity.Self-confidence and a positive outlook in life will see you through any crisis. Develop the attitude that “no matter what happens in life, I can deal with it”.

Whenever your child has an issue, do not jump in and solve it for them. Ask them questions to get them to suggest answers and ways forward.

At SoulKids we offer one on one coaching for your child in addition to group programs.
Please do connect and register your child for one of our upcoming workshops: soulkids@soulcentre.org

How to manage stress in children

How to manage stress in children

By Vikas Malkani
Founder of SoulKids®, www.soulkids.org13th August 2018

The task of raising children and making them future ready, brings many challenges. From academic stress, to teenage issues; from low self-esteem to intense peer pressure, children face it all in their years of learning and growing.

And parents feel the stress too. Parenting is one the most challenging jobs there is. It tests our patience, positivity and persistence. It can bring out our inner potential, or it can kill it completely.

The word 'stress' originates from the French word 'estrece' meaning 'narrowness' and depicts a limiting or constriction of our power and abilities.

We have the feeling of being stressed out when we think we have too much to handle either on a mental, emotional or physical level. Stress also occurs when we view change and pressure as burdens rather than as challenges.

Interestingly, what makes a person stress-full may be quite an ordinary event for another person. The secret to releasing stress is to realize that stress is created not by the event or circumstance itself, but by the way we respond to what happens to us.

Decide today to live a life that’s free of stress. The first step to this is learning how to manage stress when it crops up. It's never too late to make your children and the job of parenting, stress-free and joyful. Remember - Life is too short to postpone happiness until the conditions are just perfect.

Here are 3 stress management tips that lead to greater happiness for you and your children.

TIP 1 - START YOUR DAY WITH GRATITUDE

All of us have a lot to be grateful for, but most times, we don’t realize it. Children take for granted whatever their parents provide for them.

Train your children to start every day with 5 minutes of focusing on gratitude. Gratitude helps to cultivate a positive mind-set. Remember, as your day begins, you don’t know what the day will bring to you, but you can decide what you will bring to this day! So, choose to bring a grateful and happy ‘you’ to your day and see the benefits happen.

If you constantly think about what is wrong or what you lack, you will be more stressed out. Instead, spend 5 minutes before you get active in the morning reminding yourself what is great in your life. You can do this exercise together with your children at the start of the day.

TIP 2 – MEDITATE

In every situation, you always have two choices - either curse the darkness, or light a candle.  Meditation helps you to train your mind to choose the more positive attitude.

Simply put, stress is the result of the way you think. And if you develop the ability to change the way you think, you will have in your hands the power to manage stress regardless of what the causes may be.

Stress arises out of the way you think, and since meditation is the skill of training your mind, and becoming aware of your thoughts, meditation is also one of the most effective antidotes to stress. Negative thinking produces stress and thinking positively releases it, it’s that simple in most cases. 

Invest in meditation. Find an authentic and reputable teacher and make sure you and your children learn the skills of meditation. Training your mind through the ancient science of meditation shows you the way to create your own happiness and joy.

So, find a good teacher and learn the skills of meditation and mindfulness. Countless studies have shown that meditation and mindfulness help you to manage stress better.

TIP 3 – PERFECTION DOESN’T HAPPEN

It’s a fact that we all have imperfections. This includes your children too; remember that they are not perfect and are not meant to be, they are wonderful and unique just the way they are and your job as a parent is not to make them different, but rather to make them the best version of who they authentically are.

Expecting your children to be perfect will create more stress, I promise. So ease up a little, check the expectations you carry and lower them if necessary, and see how much more you can enjoy parenting and your life. You will be happily surprised.  

Trying to control every moment and outcome of your life will always cause more stress for you. Instead, release a bit of control, take the action the present moment requires, and then, stop clinging to the results.

There are also important lessons adults can learn from children about managing stress. Here is one - HAVE FUN. Being around children has taught me the simple power of pursuing fun -- again and again. A simple game like hide and seek can keep a child happy and occupied for hours. The price of the game: nothing. The fun: priceless.

But fun doesn't just happen. You have to make it a priority in your life or it won’t happen. Life's too short to not have it. In my perspective, life is what you make it to be, nothing more, nothing less.

So HAVE FUN with your children and make your family happier and stress free!

If you wish to become a stress-free parent, I highly recommend our ‘Meditation Made Simple’ program as the perfect first step. 

Click here to see dates and register http://www.soulcentre.org/events

Vikas Malkani is an authority and one of the world’s leading teachers of meditation and mindfulness. He has taught the secrets of meditation to CEO’s, Hollywood Stars, Royalty, Entrepreneurs, Doctors, Psychologists and Sports Champions.

SoulCentre is Asia’s Premier Centre for Meditation, Mindfulness & Stress-Management. www.soulcentre.org

SoulKids is an award-winning life skills program that makes children future-ready by teaching them leadership, resilience, emotional intelligence, teamwork and more.

Find out more about SoulKids programs and one-on-one coaching here www.soulkids.org or email us at info@soulcentre.org

A flying start for SoulKids® Romania

A flying start for SoulKids® Romania

By Dana Ilies, SoulKids Mentor
16th July 2018

I want to start with a quote I got from Vikas in one of his Life Lessons about how to overcome challenges and changes that come into our lives:

“Turn your mess into a message”

This quote matches my story very well.

It all started in Singapore where my husband had the opportunity to work for Marina Bay Sands, a big company and a beautiful building with an infinity swimming pool on 57th floor. We were so happy and of course we took the chance.

Singapore was amazing. We had the expat life with all the benefits and were happy there.
One day I was drawn to a Facebook post in which SoulCentre was recruiting for office support and I decided to apply. Sally gave me the opportunity to join a team of awesome people. The day I stepped inside the office was the beginning of an amazing journey. Vikas and Sally are the best mentors in the world, and the support I got everyday from them is priceless. I can say without a doubt that they made me shine.

When Sally offered me the chance to take the SoulKids Mentor training I said yes without a single doubt in my mind. If I were to reccomend a single, unique training in the whole world that will have the most impact on yourself, I’ll reccomend the SoulKids Mentor Training. It changed my life.
After becoming a SoulKids Mentor I had the opportunity to participate in many SoulKids programs and the SoulKids Manager, Vidhya Shailesh was the best support and mentor one could wish.

Everything about our life in Singapore seemed perfect, except for the fact that our two daughters were in Romania. We were missing them a lot and in the back of our minds the thought of going back was always there.

It all came to an end when my husband’s work contract ended and we had to return. From Singapore to Bucharest is a big step to take, and most of our friends and family thought that this step would turn out to be a bad one.
However, being a SoulKids Mentor, I learnt to always think positive and believe in myself. The lessons I taught to children all that time were now so useful for my own life.

Never give up! You are awesome! Be the best you that you can be! Follow your passion!

I did not even have to think about what I was going to do in Bucharest. Children in Romania can also benefit from the SoulKids Program.

We landed on 3rd of April and my first SoulKids Program in Romania was scheduled on 19th May.  I was completely unknown and SoulKids a brand new word for people in Romania. My drive was the fact that this program can make a huge difference in children’s lives and it is something unique. In no time the first program, SoulKids QuickStart, was sold out!

It was the first time doing it on my own and in Romanian, but the systems that Sally put into place for the management of the program were so helpful. I can say without any doubt that Sally is the most organised person I know. With her system you can’t go wrong even if you are doing it for the first time. Her check lists were very helpful and for me life saving!!

The program was a success, I got very good feedback from both parents and children and from there it all started to grow.
I started on 19th May, and by 5th July I successfully finished 5 SoulKids programs.
32 children had fun and learnt important life lessons for their future.

I’m looking forward to a bright future and I feel blessed for having the chance to make such a profound impact on the lives of Romanian children with this program.

I finish my story with an amazing feedback I got from one of the parents:

“ Since this morning Rares is a different child. In the morning he would usually ask for his phone to play on and to eat breakfast in bed, this morning he woke up, made his bed, brushed his teeth, went to his room and changed his clothes, prepared himself milk and cereals which he heated in the microwave and all this without anyone telling him anything. What can I say, he is a different child.”

Rares attented one of the SoulKids QuikStart programs. Because he wants more, he registered for the SoulKids Self-confidence program in the following week.

Thank you Vikas Malkani and Sally Forrest for creating this program and giving me the chance to share SoulKids to Romanian children and thank you Vidhya Shailesh for your guidance and mentoring on so many SoulKids programs in Singapore.

When you do what you LOVE and you LOVE what you do the results are amazing.

My advice for everyone out there who feels low and does not see a bright future ahead, is to find your passion and let it be your work or business. The results will be over the top!

To find out more about our programs for children, please visit www.soulkids.org or email us at:soulkids@soulcentre.org (Singapore)info@danailies.ro (Romania)

We offer group programs for different age groups of children and even offer one-on-one coaching if your child requires specific help and guidance. 

Digital Addiction – How to help my teenager

Digital Addiction – How to help my teenager

ByVidhya Shailesh
SoulKids® Program Manager, www.soulkids.org
2nd July 2018

The world we live in right now is massively different from the one we used to live in as children. Among the many changes, the digital revolution has been one that has changed our lives in many ways. Mobiles, tablets, laptops are no longer a luxury any more – they are a way of life.

While technology has its advantages, it is essential that we remain mindful of the ill effects of the same. With laptops and mobile phones becoming a necessary part of every child’s growing years and part of their learning in school, it is all the more necessary that we inculcate the right habits from the start among children.

We cannot live in our own little bubble and avoid technology completely. Instead we must learn to embrace it with the right habits. Here are a few ways we can do the same.

1. Accept don't resist
Once we have given our children access to mobiles or laptops, there is no point resisting it and fighting over why they spend so much time on it. If in your teenage years you spent hours speaking to your friends on the phone, today the children do it on WhatsApp or snapchat. It is a part of their growing up years and constantly blaming them for it only creates a very negative environment. Instead encourage open communication. Discuss what they watch / do on their computers openly. Perhaps watch some of the shows with them. This helps foster a sense of openness and helps them be honest with you. Confrontation will only make them lie.

2. Encourage them to segregate screen time
Children need to be guided to understand how hours can be spent on your digital equipment. What might start as a simple google search might end up in hours of aimless reading. Help them understand this. Encourage them to set aside specific times for the tasks that they are doing. For example, if it is a school evening, encourage them to leave their phones on silent while they do their work. There are apps like focus available for computers as well which can help you block out any form of distractions for specific periods of time. This helps them focus on getting their work done. And once the work is complete, they can catch up on any messages on their phones. Cultivate a sense of responsibility for their own school work.

3. Encourage healthy habits like taking frequent breaks from their computers. Encourage them to put their digital devices away while they are in the company of people. Perhaps family time is a good way to start. Encourage them to set aside their devices during family time and make sure you do the same. Let this time be one where everyone engages in conversation perhaps over a meal or while doing an activity together.

4. Encourage them to spend lots of time in the outdoors. Perhaps playing their favorite sport or going for a run or a walk or biking. This is a great way to beat stress during exams, to help clear your mind and energize the body.

5. Encourage them to develop a love for reading. 
Make it a habit to help them pick out a few books to read during their holidays. Frequent trips to the library can ensure they have enough to read in their spare time. This will also ensure they don’t just sit with their phones the entire time. Encourage them to keep a wish list of books that they would like to read. And every time there is a holiday, help them source the books so they can keep themselves engaged.

While the distractions that digital devices provide are plenty, they must understand that there is a lot more they can do without it too. Lead them by example, let them see you put away your devices for specific periods of time. Some of these habits when inculcated early can help your teenagers develop the right approach towards digital distractions.

Life-skills education can go a long way in encouraging the right mindset towards life and the many distractions in it including digital distractions. At SoulKids® we teach children essential life-skills that help them create their own happiness and success.

To find out more about our programs for children, please visit www.soulkids.org or email us at soulkids@soulcentre.org for more information. We offer group programs for different age groups and even offer one-on-one coaching if your child requires specific help and guidance.

3 TOP TIPS TO RAISE A CONFIDENT CHILD  

By Sally Forrest

Managing Director, SoulKids, www.soulkids.org

21st May 2018

One of the most attractive qualities a person can have is self-confidence.

It starts young and it is a skill worth learning.

One of the core principles of SoulKids is that confidence is a teachable and learnable skill.

Here are 3 top tips that you can start with for your child (and of course for yourself):

1) CULTIVATE POSITIVE THINKING

At any moment, we have a choice. We can see the good in a situation, or we can see the bad. No matter what the situation, develop the habit of thinking “What positives can I find in this situation?”

For example, if your child brings home their grade card and 4 subjects are above average and 2 are below average, do not over-react and start to focus on the negatives.

Instead treat each moment as a learning opportunity.

Ask your child what went well, and how they feel about those subjects. Also ask your child what did not go well and why that was. Ask your child for their action steps to make improvements going forwards.

You can also encourage the child to take accountability for their own success. This way the conversation is positive and productive and you do not react to the disappointment of a few low grades.

2) VISUALIZE POSITIVE OUTCOMES

At SoulKids we believe that Visualization is a powerful tool to use.

Encourage your child to learn the art of visualizing positive outcomes in all aspects of their life.

Visualize doing well in school exams.

Visualize winning at sports.

Visualize having a healthy body.

Visualize having great friends.

Once the mind visualizes a positive outcome, the body responds, your child will begin to feel more confident and will take more positive actions, which naturally will have better results than taking action half-heartedly.

The child will develop confidence in this technique with practice. The more you practice doing positive visualizations, the easier it becomes.

3) CREATE A NETWORK OF SUPPORTIVE FRIENDS

At SoulKids we coach children on the truth that ‘You become who you surround yourself with’ and this is very important to understand if you want to have a positive life and future.

Who your child mixes with, will play a large role in their life.

If your child mixes with friends who encourage and support them, then they will become more confident and grounded in life.

If your child gets in with the wrong crowd and starts to do things to please others, then they are in effect moving away from their own personality and confidence.

It is important to explain to a child early the importance of relationships and what to nurture in them. Encourage positive friends and discuss with your child how these relationships will indeed support them going forwards in life.

These are 3 simple SoulKids tips that are easy to implement and that will make a positive difference in the lives of your children.

Your child learns best from experience, so become a role model in these aspects and your child will learn from your actions.

Sally Forrest is the founder of SoulKids.

If you would like your child to benefit from a SoulKids program, a personal coaching or by reading the SoulKids books, then please do connect on www.soulkids.org

The next SoulKids Self-Confidence program is coming up on 11 / 12  / 13 June. An ideal moment for your child to grow self-confidence and have fun during the school holidays at the same time.

For registration, click here.

One on One coaching sessions can be booked at your convenience by contacting the SoulKids Manager, Vidhya on soulkids@soulcentre.org.

Becoming a SoulKids Mentor was life changing

Becoming a SoulKids Mentor was life changing 

By Sally Forrest
Managing Director of SoulCentre, www.soulcentre.org

30th April 2018

Sally recently interviewed Swapna Menon to find out about her journey to become a SoulKids Mentor.

What made you decide to become SK Mentor?

I happened to glance at a SoulKids programme brochure in school and I was completely wowed by the benefits it talked about.

I decided to take the course thinking that how beautiful it would be to transform myself and others and to see children “blossom" from buds into beautiful flowers

Personally I think that the most beautiful thing one can give back to the world is to “create a difference in the lives to others”.

Did You enjoy the SoulKids Mentor training program?

Yes! Without a doubt, it was amazing.
I particularly liked the transformation I saw in myself and then in the people I interacted with.

I loved the tools and teaching techniques used and in particular the stories!
As individuals, all of us connect to stories. Our eyes and ears are totally focussed and engrossed when we listen to a great story.
The stories shared at the SoulKids Mentor training are simple, unique and life changing.

The learning is so profound.

I could grasp and connect to it really easily and it also helped to change my perspective and my attitude.

It made me realise that I am in charge of my life!
Every thought I have and every action I take brings change to me and to my life.

The most beautiful part of the programme was to watch Vikas in action as he taught the program. He has such authenticity and passion, moving from one story to another with high energy. He never tired and I was totally focussed and concentrating all the time. It was enjoyable and the time just flew by. I was mesmerised.

SoulKids Mentor training is a programme that transformed me as an individual.

Have you incorporated the teachings into your life? 

Yes, I immediately incorporated the teachings.
First I changed my thoughts as I realised that as individuals we have numerous thoughts coming to us every day.
Some thoughts can be positive while some can be negative.
Of course the positive thoughts are great, however one negative thought is enough to influence our entire day and can spoil the moment.

Of course it can be a challenge to always have positive thoughts, however now I have this new awareness I am making a daily effort to keep the negative thoughts at bay.

How have you used SK with your family? 

Yes, I use it with my family.

I have all the SoulKids books and I read the stories to my daughter.
She loved the stories so much that she asked to attend a SoulKids program.

Every day when the opportunity arises I reiterate the learning from the stories.

There are situations when she may be impatient or may not be happy with her results.
I take situations like this as an opportunity to help her learn key life lessons from SoulKids like to “be patient” and “to not give up”
The stories of the patient spider and Bruce Lee help her to realise everyone in life goes through challenges and it enables her to focus and to be eager to change.

Every story that SoulKids teaches has invaluable life lessons that really benefit children (and adults).

Have you been involved in teaching a SoulKids program?

Yes I have and I loved every minute of it.

It is so rewarding to make a difference in the lives of others.

I am a very energetic person and I bring lots of enthusiasm and drama while narrating stories. 

The children definitely enjoyed the program and certainly left happy and smiling.

Many thanks Swapna for this enlightening interview.

We wish you continued happiness and we know that each child who comes into contact with you will most certainly benefit.

For more details on SoulKids please do connect with us on soulkids@soulcentre.org

How to raise a confident daughter?

How to raise a confident daughter?

By Vidhya Shailesh, SoulKids® Program Manager, www.soulkids.org16th April 2018

Confidence is a nurtured skill. As children grow up, they go through phases of confidence in their own abilities followed by phases of self-doubt. Peer pressure, comparisons with their friends, changing social environment all contribute towards their own self-belief. As girls grow up, body image issues, the need to be accepted and belong among others can affect their confidence. As parents or guardians, we can support them through these formative years to help them grow into confident young ladies.

1.    Encourage assertiveness

Encourage your daughters to stand up to their choices. Often when girls find their friends are making different choices, they feel compelled to choose otherwise. Encourage them to be assertive. Train them to stand by their choices, train them to make their own independent choices. It might start with simple choices like what to eat at a meal. Encourage them to make these choices often and stand up to them.

2.    Encourage competence

Teach her that competence takes effort and persistence. And it is only through persistent effort that competence is built. Encourage her to focus on her strengths and build on them. It doesn’t matter what her strengths might be – it could be academics, arts or sports or anything else that she is really keen on. With effort, she can keep growing and this leads to greater self-belief. Refrain from making assumptions on her strengths and weaknesses.

3.    Never compare her with others

Comparisons with friends, peers or siblings hurt a child’s confidence the most. It makes them feel they are not good enough. And with girls, this can have a much deeper impact. Remember, all children are special in their own way. Appreciate her efforts not just the results. Tell her often how she is doing something well, or what you think is special about her. Girls often need reassurance and this is where parents play an important role. Don’t judge her mistakes. Instead help her rise above them. Help them understand that mistakes are normal. Speak openly about your own failures or mistakes and embrace them. Avoid setting perfect ideals for her to live up to. Instead encourage effort and growth.

4.    Encourage a healthy body image

As young girls grow into their pre-teen years, body image plays a very important part. As their bodies change, encourage them to be accepting. Start by complementing them often. Girls are often lured by the images they see in magazines and can get caught up in their own idea of a perfect body. Tell them constantly how beautiful they are just as they are. Help them appreciate imperfection.

5.    Encourage them to have positive role models

Encourage your daughters to have positive role models. Help them see the effort that is put behind the success and the causes for which their role models stand. A positive role model can help inspire your daughter and encourage her to have the right mindset.

At SoulKids® we teach all children to believe in themselves. We teach them to be happy just they way they are, to never compare themselves with others and grow their own strengths. Essential skills such as this when taught early, lay the foundation for the rest of their growing up years. We work with many children on group programs and on one-on-one basis.

Parents can also learn how to inspire their own children and bring out the best in themselves. Our mentor training program is specifically designed to train adults in the SoulKids® philosophy. Mentor training happens only once a year and we have people flying in from all over the world to get trained. Mentor training in 2018 is happening from April 22-26. Sign up for this transformational training program and grow your own life and be a positive influence on everyone around you.

To find out more about our programs or one-on-one coaching, please visit www.soulkids.org or email us atsoulkids@soulcentre.org for more information. Register your children for our transformational programs and help them grow in confidence.

3 Secrets To Raising A Happy Child

 

3 Secrets To Raising A Happy Child

By Vikas Malkani

Founder of SoulKids®

Raising happy children is the goal of every parent. Children are naturally drawn towards happiness, and as parents, we must understand what it takes to nurture and raise a happy child.

Here are my top 3 secrets to raising a happy child.

1.    Feed their self-confidence

As parents, it is our responsibility to raise our child’s sense of self-esteem so high that nothing or no one can break it.

Boost their confidence by always encouraging them to try new things. Appreciate their efforts not just the results. Support their interests, desires and strengths. Encourage them to do more of the things they are naturally good at. This provides a positive reinforcement and helps them grow in confidence; it also strengthens them to produce positive results in their endeavors.

Make sure that you do not compare them with others. Comparisons with peers devalues their self-confidence and also affects their inner beliefs.

2.    Make your home a positive one

Children learn more by imitation than by instruction. Be aware of your words, actions and behavior and keep them positive, as your children are watching you constantly.

Engage in fun activities together. Develop a positive and happy mindset yourself so they learn by watching you.

Let them see you making mistakes, learning from it and moving forward. Encourage open communication so they know they can always come to you for guidance and not be judged.

3.    Inspire, don’t perspire your children

Motivate children, don’t dictate to them. Acknowledge and reinforce good work and behavior. Notice them doing things right, don’t just catch them doing things wrong.

Encourage them to make small efforts and support them. It is always the small victories that lead to greater ones.

Children learn best through positive and constructive feedback. Remember failure has a purpose too – it shows you what you need to work on. Help them develop this growth mindset.

The award winning SoulKids® programs are designed to give children the life-skills they need to create their own happiness and success.

At SoulKids, children learn skills such as resilience, emotional intelligence, teamwork, personal leadership, creative problem solving and more in a fun and engaging environment. They always leave happy, excited, positive and wanting more.

We offer group programs for different age groups and also offer one-on-one coaching to provide specific help and guidance for your child.

Click here to see SoulKids program dates and register http://www.soulkids.org/events

Vikas Malkani is an authority on personal development, happiness and success. He has coached CEO’s, Hollywood Stars, Royalty, Sports Champions and more…

SoulKids is an award winning life skills program that makes children future-ready by teaching them leadership, resilience, emotional intelligence, teamwork and more.

Find out more about SoulKids programs and one-on-one coaching here www.soulkids.org or email us at info@soulcentre.org