Resilience - A much needed skill for children

Resilience – A much needed skill for Children

By Sally Forrest
BSc, MRPharmS, MBA.
11th September 2018

Resilience is the ability to pick yourself up when things do not go your way.
The ability to recover from setbacks and difficulties, the ability to have mental toughness.

Resilience is a skill that can be taught in children (and adults) and the earlier it is taught; the better life will become.
Life will not always go the way we expect it to, and this statement alone will change the way your child reacts to life.

Life often throws us a curve ball; Death of a loved one, Divorce, Redundancy, Moving Country, Loss of a Pet …the list is endless. The question we have to answer is “How do we deal with this new situation and how do we get our life back on track?"

Children are tough!
Do not treat them otherwise. Expose them to the Ups and Downs that life throws their way.

How can you develop Resilience in your child? Here are 4 easy steps:

1)    Talk OpenlyTalk about how you have dealt with issues in your own past, how did you feel, what actions did you take to get back on track and how you managed to turn life around once more.

2)    Expose them to other people’s experiences.If a friend has an issue then do not be the only one who offers support. Discuss the situation openly in the family and expose your children to life’s challenges at an early age.

3)    Accept that Change is normal.If we expect that life will always be the same, then we will sadly be disappointed. Explain to your child the concept of life cycles, show them this in nature. At an early age get them to understand that everything will one day pass away. Demonstrate this with the seasons in nature - the leaves fall, the grass grows and is harvested, butterflies are here for a short time and then move on.
The sooner we all accept that each day that passes is one less day we have to live on this wonderful planet, then the sooner we start to appreciate all the good things we have in life.

4)    Nurture positivity.Self-confidence and a positive outlook in life will see you through any crisis. Develop the attitude that “no matter what happens in life, I can deal with it”.

Whenever your child has an issue, do not jump in and solve it for them. Ask them questions to get them to suggest answers and ways forward.

At SoulKids we offer one on one coaching for your child in addition to group programs.
Please do connect and register your child for one of our upcoming workshops: soulkids@soulcentre.org

How to manage stress in children

How to manage stress in children

By Vikas Malkani
Founder of SoulKids®, www.soulkids.org13th August 2018

The task of raising children and making them future ready, brings many challenges. From academic stress, to teenage issues; from low self-esteem to intense peer pressure, children face it all in their years of learning and growing.

And parents feel the stress too. Parenting is one the most challenging jobs there is. It tests our patience, positivity and persistence. It can bring out our inner potential, or it can kill it completely.

The word 'stress' originates from the French word 'estrece' meaning 'narrowness' and depicts a limiting or constriction of our power and abilities.

We have the feeling of being stressed out when we think we have too much to handle either on a mental, emotional or physical level. Stress also occurs when we view change and pressure as burdens rather than as challenges.

Interestingly, what makes a person stress-full may be quite an ordinary event for another person. The secret to releasing stress is to realize that stress is created not by the event or circumstance itself, but by the way we respond to what happens to us.

Decide today to live a life that’s free of stress. The first step to this is learning how to manage stress when it crops up. It's never too late to make your children and the job of parenting, stress-free and joyful. Remember - Life is too short to postpone happiness until the conditions are just perfect.

Here are 3 stress management tips that lead to greater happiness for you and your children.

TIP 1 - START YOUR DAY WITH GRATITUDE

All of us have a lot to be grateful for, but most times, we don’t realize it. Children take for granted whatever their parents provide for them.

Train your children to start every day with 5 minutes of focusing on gratitude. Gratitude helps to cultivate a positive mind-set. Remember, as your day begins, you don’t know what the day will bring to you, but you can decide what you will bring to this day! So, choose to bring a grateful and happy ‘you’ to your day and see the benefits happen.

If you constantly think about what is wrong or what you lack, you will be more stressed out. Instead, spend 5 minutes before you get active in the morning reminding yourself what is great in your life. You can do this exercise together with your children at the start of the day.

TIP 2 – MEDITATE

In every situation, you always have two choices - either curse the darkness, or light a candle.  Meditation helps you to train your mind to choose the more positive attitude.

Simply put, stress is the result of the way you think. And if you develop the ability to change the way you think, you will have in your hands the power to manage stress regardless of what the causes may be.

Stress arises out of the way you think, and since meditation is the skill of training your mind, and becoming aware of your thoughts, meditation is also one of the most effective antidotes to stress. Negative thinking produces stress and thinking positively releases it, it’s that simple in most cases. 

Invest in meditation. Find an authentic and reputable teacher and make sure you and your children learn the skills of meditation. Training your mind through the ancient science of meditation shows you the way to create your own happiness and joy.

So, find a good teacher and learn the skills of meditation and mindfulness. Countless studies have shown that meditation and mindfulness help you to manage stress better.

TIP 3 – PERFECTION DOESN’T HAPPEN

It’s a fact that we all have imperfections. This includes your children too; remember that they are not perfect and are not meant to be, they are wonderful and unique just the way they are and your job as a parent is not to make them different, but rather to make them the best version of who they authentically are.

Expecting your children to be perfect will create more stress, I promise. So ease up a little, check the expectations you carry and lower them if necessary, and see how much more you can enjoy parenting and your life. You will be happily surprised.  

Trying to control every moment and outcome of your life will always cause more stress for you. Instead, release a bit of control, take the action the present moment requires, and then, stop clinging to the results.

There are also important lessons adults can learn from children about managing stress. Here is one - HAVE FUN. Being around children has taught me the simple power of pursuing fun -- again and again. A simple game like hide and seek can keep a child happy and occupied for hours. The price of the game: nothing. The fun: priceless.

But fun doesn't just happen. You have to make it a priority in your life or it won’t happen. Life's too short to not have it. In my perspective, life is what you make it to be, nothing more, nothing less.

So HAVE FUN with your children and make your family happier and stress free!

If you wish to become a stress-free parent, I highly recommend our ‘Meditation Made Simple’ program as the perfect first step. 

Click here to see dates and register http://www.soulcentre.org/events

Vikas Malkani is an authority and one of the world’s leading teachers of meditation and mindfulness. He has taught the secrets of meditation to CEO’s, Hollywood Stars, Royalty, Entrepreneurs, Doctors, Psychologists and Sports Champions.

SoulCentre is Asia’s Premier Centre for Meditation, Mindfulness & Stress-Management. www.soulcentre.org

SoulKids is an award-winning life skills program that makes children future-ready by teaching them leadership, resilience, emotional intelligence, teamwork and more.

Find out more about SoulKids programs and one-on-one coaching here www.soulkids.org or email us at info@soulcentre.org

3 Secrets To Raising A Happy Child

 

3 Secrets To Raising A Happy Child

By Vikas Malkani

Founder of SoulKids®

Raising happy children is the goal of every parent. Children are naturally drawn towards happiness, and as parents, we must understand what it takes to nurture and raise a happy child.

Here are my top 3 secrets to raising a happy child.

1.    Feed their self-confidence

As parents, it is our responsibility to raise our child’s sense of self-esteem so high that nothing or no one can break it.

Boost their confidence by always encouraging them to try new things. Appreciate their efforts not just the results. Support their interests, desires and strengths. Encourage them to do more of the things they are naturally good at. This provides a positive reinforcement and helps them grow in confidence; it also strengthens them to produce positive results in their endeavors.

Make sure that you do not compare them with others. Comparisons with peers devalues their self-confidence and also affects their inner beliefs.

2.    Make your home a positive one

Children learn more by imitation than by instruction. Be aware of your words, actions and behavior and keep them positive, as your children are watching you constantly.

Engage in fun activities together. Develop a positive and happy mindset yourself so they learn by watching you.

Let them see you making mistakes, learning from it and moving forward. Encourage open communication so they know they can always come to you for guidance and not be judged.

3.    Inspire, don’t perspire your children

Motivate children, don’t dictate to them. Acknowledge and reinforce good work and behavior. Notice them doing things right, don’t just catch them doing things wrong.

Encourage them to make small efforts and support them. It is always the small victories that lead to greater ones.

Children learn best through positive and constructive feedback. Remember failure has a purpose too – it shows you what you need to work on. Help them develop this growth mindset.

The award winning SoulKids® programs are designed to give children the life-skills they need to create their own happiness and success.

At SoulKids, children learn skills such as resilience, emotional intelligence, teamwork, personal leadership, creative problem solving and more in a fun and engaging environment. They always leave happy, excited, positive and wanting more.

We offer group programs for different age groups and also offer one-on-one coaching to provide specific help and guidance for your child.

Click here to see SoulKids program dates and register http://www.soulkids.org/events

Vikas Malkani is an authority on personal development, happiness and success. He has coached CEO’s, Hollywood Stars, Royalty, Sports Champions and more…

SoulKids is an award winning life skills program that makes children future-ready by teaching them leadership, resilience, emotional intelligence, teamwork and more.

Find out more about SoulKids programs and one-on-one coaching here www.soulkids.org or email us at info@soulcentre.org

Count your Blessings to ensure a happy start for 2017

Vikas Malkani
9th January 2017

 

Count your Blessings to start the year right!

‘Counting your Blessings’ is one of the essential pillars of my teaching. My students will know why, as I have explained the many reasons spiritually, scientifically and practically too…

Try it for yourself and see the difference that being focused on your blessings makes in your life. I can guarantee that counting your blessings will make you happier, healthier, energetically attractive and will encourage a positive mindset that is resilient and able to handle challenges.

By counting your blessings you raise yourself energy levels, you attract more blessings and you experience all the goodness that a meditative mind brings. After all, counting your blessings is a technique of meditation and mindfulness from ancient times…

So start 2017 in a positive, peaceful and powerful manner – by counting your blessings with me.

Here are my top 5 blessings as I start 2017 -

1) I am blessed to be alive and have good health

2) I am blessed to be surrounded by wonderful people and friends

3) I am blessed to do work I love and share wisdom with the world

4) I am blessed I have recently enjoyed some time off and seen the beauty of our wonderful planet

5) I am blessed to be living and working in Singapore and meeting great people every day at SoulCentre®!

I’ve shared mine with you, what are your top 5 blessings?

To make 2017 a great year for yourself, connect with SoulCentre® and get started with meditation, mindfulness, reiki or start coaching yourself to a life of happiness, prosperity and fulfilment.

Attend a ‘Life Lessons with Vikas’ on 18 January or ‘Meditation Made Simple’ starting 07 February and start to make your life better in all ways.

Connect with us at info@soulcentre.org to find out more.

www.soulcentre.org

Self-Confidence In Children – 5 Ways To Create It

By Vikas Malkani

Founder of SoulKids®

31st October 2016

Contrary to what some believe, self-confidence doesn’t develop simply by telling kids they're wonderful, special, and unique. Simple words will not do it, nor will giving every child a trophy at the end of every contest.

The reality is that your child will face competition in life and must learn how to manage it. Regardless of the result, when children compete, they can see that their own preparation and hard work makes a difference. Getting a prize contributes to self-confidence only when the child knows they have earned it.

A positive self-confidence is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child. The self-confidence a child develops is the result of numerous experiences that help a child feel accepted, loved, respected, capable and effective. And it is always built over time.

www.soulkids.org

SoulKids® teaches that children with high self-esteem feel loved and competent and develop into happy, productive people. They tend to feel valued and accepted, feel proud of a job well done, think good things about themselves and feel prepared for everyday challenges.

Conversely, children with low self-esteem often feel self-critical and are hard on themselves, feel insecure, or not as good as other kids, focus on the times they fail rather than the times they succeed, lack confidence to step out of their comfort zone, and constantly doubt their ability to do well at things.

At SoulKids® we believe that self-confidence is important because when children feel good about themselves, it sets them up for success — in everything from school to friendships. Positive self-confidence helps children try new challenges, cope with mistakes, and try again. In contrast, children with low self-confidence feel unsure of themselves, think others won't accept them, and may allow themselves to be treated poorly and have a hard time standing up for themselves.

Here are 5 SoulKids® tips to help your child develop self-confidence :

1) Help your child learn to do things - At every age, there are new things for kids to learn. When a child does something new, it gets them out of their zone of comfort and into their zone of discovery and growth; it makes them grow. Doing new things is absolutely essential for the constant development of a child and also great for building their self-confidence.

When teaching kids how to do things, show and help them at first. Then let them do what they can, even if they make mistakes. Be sure your child has lots of opportunities to learn, try, and feel proud. Don't make new challenges too easy — or too hard.

2) Praise your child, but do it wisely - It's good to praise children and your praise is a way to show that you love them and are proud of them too. But research shows that some ways of praising kids can actually backfire so avoid over-praising. Praise that doesn't feel earned is not beneficial and in fact can have the reverse effect. Kids are masters at detecting insincere praise or baseless compliments.

Praise your child often, but be specific in your compliments so your words sound and feel true. Telling a child he played a great game when he knows he didn't feels hollow and fake. So it's better to say, "I know that wasn't your best performance, but we all have off days. I'm proud of you for not giving up. Tomorrow, you'll be back on your top game."

At SoulKids® we believe that it’s better to praise the efforts they make rather than just the results they achieve. This kind of praise encourages children to put effort into things, work toward goals, and try. When kids do that, they are more likely to succeed.

3) Ban negative criticism - The messages kids hear about themselves from others easily translate into how they feel about themselves. Harsh words such as ‘You're so lazy’ are harmful, and not motivating at all. When children absorb negative messages about themselves, especially from the parents or family, they feel bad about themselves, and act accordingly.

Never belittle your child's feelings. If you get angry take a short break so you don't say anything you'll regret later. And remember, you can dislike a child's actions without disliking the child.

Words have power, so be conscious of what you speak to and around your child.

4) Focus on strengths - Pay attention to what your child does well and enjoys. Make sure your child has opportunities to develop these strengths. Developing their innate strengths will feel natural and joyful for your child.

For developing positive self-confidence, nurturing strengths is better than focusing on weaknesses if you want to help kids feel good about themselves and succeed in life.

5) Be a good role model - When you put effort into everyday tasks like making a meal, cleaning up the dishes, or washing the car, you're setting a good example for your children. Your child learns to put effort into doing homework, cleaning up toys, or making the bed because they see you so the same.

Modelling the right mind set and attitude counts, too. When you do tasks cheerfully, or when you avoid rushing through chores and take pride in a job well done, you teach your child to do the same.

The SoulKids® creed is simple and effective – ‘Be what you want your child to become!’

It works, every time!

SoulKids is an award-winning training program of essential life-skills for children.

To have your child benefit from our next class, click http://www.soulkids.org/events

Leadership for Children – SoulKids®

Sally Forrest

24^th October 2016

The right skills learned at a young age are priceless and leadership is vital to the future success for all children.

At SoulKids® we encourage each child to bring out their very best and during the programs they take on leadership roles.

One of the main lessons for a leader is that you lead by example – this means how you communicate, how you walk, how you hold yourself - all makes a difference.

Children are given roles where they soon realize the importance of clear communication and of setting a good example in order to succeed.

They are exposed to team activities where the teams are allocated randomly; sometimes they lead and other times they are part of a team.

This is a true test of working with people not like you, people who may have different strengths than you, and people who you may not have picked for your team should you be given the choice.

Negotiation, getting along with others, looking for the strengths in others - are all valuable lessons that children experience and lessons that set the foundation for success in life.

Confident communication, negotiations skills, positive thinking, planning and focus are all vital to success and all lessons that children learn through fun, games, stories and experiential learning.

Once connected with our SoulKids® family there are many exciting opportunities open for children to learn.

We select children to become SoulKids® Ambassadors and they feature on videos inspiring children with the wisdom they have learned and applied in their own life.

We encourage social entrepreneurial projects and work with children to achieve their dreams.

SoulKids® is more than an enrichment class, it is a family for life where children feel loved, comfortable and know that they will be encouraged to step outside their comfort zone and to bring out their very best self to every occasion in life.

Do connect with us to register your child for our upcoming programs or for one on one coaching.

Self-Confidence – The Greatest Gift For Your Child

By Vikas Malkani, Founder of SoulKids

10 October 2106

What’s the best gift one can give to a child? I asked myself this question one day, many years ago…

Is it happiness, comforts of life, a good education, a supporting family, or fulfilling every desire the child has?

After much contemplation, I decided that the best gift one can give a child is the self-confidence, and the capability to raise their own self-belief when they need to.

In other words, if we are able to create a positive and self-confident child, we have done a large part of our work as parents.

www.soulkids.org

Let me give you my reasoning for this. There are 2 subjects I have studied deeply – happiness and success. Every human needs to experience these 2 outcomes in their life, for their life to feel fulfilled and worthy.

I have even written 2 best-selling books on these subjects – The Little Manual of Happiness and The Little Manual of Success. They are available here http://www.soulcentre.org/shop.html

One of my great realizations during my research was that for both success and happiness to manifest, one needs to develop a strong and positive self-esteem and build the capability to raise this self-confidence by choice when needed.

Life presents many challenges, and these storms come when we least expect them; if we don’t have a strong self-belief, we will be emotionally shaken and depressed and thus not able to tackle life with the optimal actions we must. Since actions bring results, without a strong self-confidence we are unable to create or enjoy an optimal life.

All successful children develop high self-esteem, and this is what sees them through difficult times when things and results are not what they expect.

Self-confidence builds resilience.

All happy children also demonstrate high and positive self-confidence. This allows them to protect their own happiness when the world around them does not offer the approval we seek.

Self-confidence builds an inner strength that can easily sail through the external storms of life.

For a happy and successful life, a high self-confidence is essential. The best gift you can give your child is training which empowers them to become a positive and confident child, able to handle whatever life throws at them.

You can start by sending your child to a SoulKids class, and see the positive difference it makes in them.

Check out the latest SoulKids courses here http://www.soulkids.org/events

Or you can gift your child the ‘SoulKids Book of Happiness for Teens’ – by Vikas Malkani, another of my best-selling books written specially for teenagers.

You can purchase it here http://www.soulkids.org/shop.html

Build a self-confident child and you would have given them the best gift you possibly can as a parent.

SoulKids is an award winning training program that provides the complete menu of life-skills that your child will require to create a life of happiness and success. SoulKids life-skills supplement the academic education that a child receives.

Life-Skills for Children - SoulKids®

This life-skills training has been a family journey -  Vidhya Shailesh

3rd October 

About four years ago, while waiting for my "Meditation Made Simple" class to begin, I happened to take a look at the SoulKids® flyer. Always drawn to wisdom, I was intrigued. Back then my daughter was eight years old and I felt she needed some help with her self-confidence. The flyer looked promising and I decided to sign her up for the weekend.

www.soulkids.org

When I told her about it, I realized she was very anxious. I reassured her that it would be a lot of fun. The weekend came and it had a huge impact on her. She wouldn't stop talking about the stories and she was visibly happier. As the weeks went by, she would keep recalling some of the stories and lessons. Her favorite story was the sunflower and the rose because it taught her that she was special. She was clearly feeling more self-assured and knew how to manage her fears.

All the SoulKids® talk at home got my younger son very interested and excited so I signed him up when he was just five and a half years old. This time it was my turn to be nervous - he was after all very small. But once again, I needn't have worried because I had a very happy and excited little boy after the session.

Watching the changes in the children, I decided to go through the mentor training myself. I wanted to be able to support their new learning myself and like every other parent, be the best parent I could be. I knew as the children got older, it was only the nature of issues that would change and I wanted to be able to handle them well.

The mentor training opened my eyes to a whole new way of parenting. I learnt not to hand down my limiting beliefs to my children. They had a potential of their own and I learnt that it was this potential that needed to be brought out.

I certified as a mentor and subsequently started working with SoulCentre®, conducting their SoulKids® programs.

After all these years, my children still get excited every time we talk about SoulKids®. The stories and lessons are often still discussed at home.

SoulKids® has given us lessons for life. And it is one program that we as a family vouch for. We have benefitted from it tremendously as have several other children and adults. I am privileged to be able to spread the teachings to other children through the SoulKids® classes. It has truly been and shall continue to be a family journey!

Thank you SoulKids®.

Life-Skills – Enrichment Classes – Support Your Child

September 19th 2016

SoulKids offers essential life–skills that support your child to succeed in life. Academic training is provided in all schools, however this is not enough for a child to really succeed in today’s world.

www.soulkids.org

To be truly happy and successful in life the following skills are needed :

•  Communication skills

•  Presentation skills

•  Behavioral skills such as how to deal with emotions

•  An understanding of ones strengths

•  An understanding of areas that need support

•  Leadership

•  How to be a team player

•  Self-belief

•  Self-confidence and self-esteem

•  An understanding of how to bring out the best in ones self

•  An understanding of how to bring out the best in others

•  Authenticity and honesty

All of these skills are learnt at SoulKids through fun – games – stories and experience.

Imagine having these skills and being able to apply them. These skills really do create a well-rounded, happy and balanced child.

SoulKids prepares children for the future and this starts from the age of 6.

Children who attend SoulKids from a young age really do mature into confident, self assured adults, who bring out the best in themselves and in others.

SoulKids Mentors stay in touch with its graduates and so children know that they always have a trusted friend they can turn to – for any issues that may arise on their journey of life.

This is truly the best gift you can give to your child.

Mentorship programs are also available for children from the age of 10, to support them during the critical teenage years.