Resilience - A much needed skill for children

Resilience – A much needed skill for Children

By Sally Forrest
BSc, MRPharmS, MBA.
11th September 2018

Resilience is the ability to pick yourself up when things do not go your way.
The ability to recover from setbacks and difficulties, the ability to have mental toughness.

Resilience is a skill that can be taught in children (and adults) and the earlier it is taught; the better life will become.
Life will not always go the way we expect it to, and this statement alone will change the way your child reacts to life.

Life often throws us a curve ball; Death of a loved one, Divorce, Redundancy, Moving Country, Loss of a Pet …the list is endless. The question we have to answer is “How do we deal with this new situation and how do we get our life back on track?"

Children are tough!
Do not treat them otherwise. Expose them to the Ups and Downs that life throws their way.

How can you develop Resilience in your child? Here are 4 easy steps:

1)    Talk OpenlyTalk about how you have dealt with issues in your own past, how did you feel, what actions did you take to get back on track and how you managed to turn life around once more.

2)    Expose them to other people’s experiences.If a friend has an issue then do not be the only one who offers support. Discuss the situation openly in the family and expose your children to life’s challenges at an early age.

3)    Accept that Change is normal.If we expect that life will always be the same, then we will sadly be disappointed. Explain to your child the concept of life cycles, show them this in nature. At an early age get them to understand that everything will one day pass away. Demonstrate this with the seasons in nature - the leaves fall, the grass grows and is harvested, butterflies are here for a short time and then move on.
The sooner we all accept that each day that passes is one less day we have to live on this wonderful planet, then the sooner we start to appreciate all the good things we have in life.

4)    Nurture positivity.Self-confidence and a positive outlook in life will see you through any crisis. Develop the attitude that “no matter what happens in life, I can deal with it”.

Whenever your child has an issue, do not jump in and solve it for them. Ask them questions to get them to suggest answers and ways forward.

At SoulKids we offer one on one coaching for your child in addition to group programs.
Please do connect and register your child for one of our upcoming workshops: soulkids@soulcentre.org

Interview with SoulKids® Mentor - Avanti Kundalia

Sally has been out and about interviewing the newly graduated SoulKids® Mentors. She recently met up with SoulKids® Mentor Avanti Kundalia.

www.soulkids.org

Sally: Avanti, what brought you to SoulCentre and SoulKids? 

Avanti Kundalia: Serendipity!!! An ever-increasing thirst for connection to my inner soul, and a deep love for life and children brought me to SoulCentre. 

S: How did you hear about SoulKids? 

AK: In the final lap of another training I was attending at another location, I heard the word SoulKids being uttered from across the room. The name just stuck in my head – I googled it a few days later and the next thing I knew I was at the SoulKids Mentor Training introduction talk with Vikas Malkani, the creator of SoulKids! 

S: What have been your experiences at SoulKids Mentor Training and the SoulKids Weekend program?

AK: I came in with zero "expectations" really - just an earnest desire to learn how I could bring my innate talents and passion together, to teach kids and truly make a difference in the world!

The SoulKids Mentor Training with Vikas itself surpassed every possible expectation I could have had! It was comprehensive, detailed, and easy to grasp and put into action, and of course a whole lot of fun too. It was also beautiful to connect with like-minded people from all varied walks of life and of different nationalities.

I loved every minute of it and literally had withdrawal symptoms when it was over!!! The SoulKids weekend program validated for me the effectiveness of the intensive training we had just gone through and was 2 days of a true funfest – the best I have ever spent in my life and career with children!!! 

S: How has SoulKids changed you as an individual? 

AK: SoulKids reintroduced me to the wonderful, playful, joyful child within myself. It reminded me of the promise I was born with (Vikas always teaches that we are born with a promise of potential inside us, that’s waiting to be fulfilled). A Promise buried deep within, which when nurtured had the potential of taking me to the peak of my life experience. SoulKids assured me it's never too late to become who I came here to be! It gave me Hope and it showed me a path to get there. 

S: What’s your most important lesson from SoulKids Training?

AK: ‘Always say YES' & 'Never give up!’

I realized how totally I was cloaked in fear of rejection/ failure/ not being "ready" enough and how much I was standing in my own way!

But since the SoulKids Mentor training, by taking little baby steps, I am becoming more of a positive Yes-Woman, and no matter how impossible a dream had seemed in the past I have consciously begun to grow it promising myself to never give up no matter how long it takes!

Go Bruce Lee!!!

S: What are your hopes, dreams and visions going forward? 

AK: First and foremost, to stop going backward. To stop doubting the potential within myself or the support that life and others give me.

To nurture and develop fully this deep connection with my inner Self that SoulCentre has so gently yet emphatically brought back into my attention.

I truly believe that an exceptional life story begins in the details of a script that gets scripted in one's early years, and that this life script can be edited, enhanced, improved and made beautiful for every child by the right kind of mentor/ coach. And that is the kind of example I wish to be in the world - breathing and living wisdom, touching and transforming lives, one beautiful child at a time.

Schooling for Success

SoulKids joins a whole nation in congratulating the success of Joseph Schooling!

We are proud and humbled by his extraordinary achievement at a young age of 21.

It is important to remember that it was the combined efforts of the parents and Joseph together, which have changed the history of Singapore forever!

What can we learn from this unforgettable moment?

www.soulkids.org

Here are some lessons to learn from his parents –

1. They saw his strengths early, and built on them.
2. They believed in his dreams and intentions.
3. They took the non-conventional path for raising their child, and bringing out his uniqueness rather than trying to fit him into the conditioned lifestyle of society.
4. They invested in bringing out the potential inside their son. They supported his talents and passion with time, energy effort and finances.
5. They did not seek approval from society or individuals, instead they followed the voice of their heart. They did what was best for their son.
6. They believed in his dreams and visions, and didn’t just seek safety and security for his future.
7. They went through personal hardships to support him, and often put their needs at second place.
8. They understood the importance of superior coaching and training, and connected him to the best coaches they could access.
9. Whenever he didn’t achieve the victory he wanted, they stayed positive and encouraged him to persevere and improve.
10. Even in great victory, they stayed humble and gentle. The parents are true champions too!

Some lessons to learn from Joseph Schooling –

1. Joseph was dedicated to his dream! He developed a strong focus on the goal he wanted to achieve.
2. He adopted positive role models and mentors.
3. Joseph learnt from the best coaches he could find!
4. He cultivated discipline to wake up at 5.30am every morning to start his training day.
5. He continued to stay focused through the years, and continued to peck at one tree like a wise       woodpecker. He did not get distracted from his goals.
6. Joseph continued to think positive and kept his mind space protected from all the negativity of the world. He always fed the positive voice in his mind. He ignored the negative people and the nay-sayers.
7. He strove to be the best he could be, and put daily actions towards making his vision a reality.
8. He was willing to do what it takes and kept a long tern vision in mind. His amazing new world record was clocked at 50.39 seconds, but it was the result of 15 years of hard work and training.
9. His focus was on being the best, fighting for what he deserved and never quitting without trying his best.
10. He surrounded himself with people who encouraged and supported him, and moved away from those who didn’t.

Joseph is a true CHAMPION, and by his life, he defines his message to the world:

C = Commitment to his vision.

H = Happy to do the hard work and pay the price for the prize.

A = Attitude makes a big difference.

M = Mindset must be positive.

P = Persevere and persist through the hard times.

I = Integrity is important.

O = Optimize your efforts.

N = Never give up!

Champions are not born, they are built!

Everyone wants to be victorious like Joseph; let us also be willing to work hard like him and put in the 15 years of persistence it took to create the 50.39 second victory!

Majulah Singapura !

Majulah Joseph!