Digital Addiction – How to help my teenager

Digital Addiction – How to help my teenager

ByVidhya Shailesh
SoulKids® Program Manager, www.soulkids.org
2nd July 2018

The world we live in right now is massively different from the one we used to live in as children. Among the many changes, the digital revolution has been one that has changed our lives in many ways. Mobiles, tablets, laptops are no longer a luxury any more – they are a way of life.

While technology has its advantages, it is essential that we remain mindful of the ill effects of the same. With laptops and mobile phones becoming a necessary part of every child’s growing years and part of their learning in school, it is all the more necessary that we inculcate the right habits from the start among children.

We cannot live in our own little bubble and avoid technology completely. Instead we must learn to embrace it with the right habits. Here are a few ways we can do the same.

1. Accept don't resist
Once we have given our children access to mobiles or laptops, there is no point resisting it and fighting over why they spend so much time on it. If in your teenage years you spent hours speaking to your friends on the phone, today the children do it on WhatsApp or snapchat. It is a part of their growing up years and constantly blaming them for it only creates a very negative environment. Instead encourage open communication. Discuss what they watch / do on their computers openly. Perhaps watch some of the shows with them. This helps foster a sense of openness and helps them be honest with you. Confrontation will only make them lie.

2. Encourage them to segregate screen time
Children need to be guided to understand how hours can be spent on your digital equipment. What might start as a simple google search might end up in hours of aimless reading. Help them understand this. Encourage them to set aside specific times for the tasks that they are doing. For example, if it is a school evening, encourage them to leave their phones on silent while they do their work. There are apps like focus available for computers as well which can help you block out any form of distractions for specific periods of time. This helps them focus on getting their work done. And once the work is complete, they can catch up on any messages on their phones. Cultivate a sense of responsibility for their own school work.

3. Encourage healthy habits like taking frequent breaks from their computers. Encourage them to put their digital devices away while they are in the company of people. Perhaps family time is a good way to start. Encourage them to set aside their devices during family time and make sure you do the same. Let this time be one where everyone engages in conversation perhaps over a meal or while doing an activity together.

4. Encourage them to spend lots of time in the outdoors. Perhaps playing their favorite sport or going for a run or a walk or biking. This is a great way to beat stress during exams, to help clear your mind and energize the body.

5. Encourage them to develop a love for reading. 
Make it a habit to help them pick out a few books to read during their holidays. Frequent trips to the library can ensure they have enough to read in their spare time. This will also ensure they don’t just sit with their phones the entire time. Encourage them to keep a wish list of books that they would like to read. And every time there is a holiday, help them source the books so they can keep themselves engaged.

While the distractions that digital devices provide are plenty, they must understand that there is a lot more they can do without it too. Lead them by example, let them see you put away your devices for specific periods of time. Some of these habits when inculcated early can help your teenagers develop the right approach towards digital distractions.

Life-skills education can go a long way in encouraging the right mindset towards life and the many distractions in it including digital distractions. At SoulKids® we teach children essential life-skills that help them create their own happiness and success.

To find out more about our programs for children, please visit www.soulkids.org or email us at soulkids@soulcentre.org for more information. We offer group programs for different age groups and even offer one-on-one coaching if your child requires specific help and guidance.

How to Develop a Positive Mindset in Children

HOW TO DEVELOP A POSITIVE MINDSET IN CHILDREN

By Vikas Malkani, Founder of SoulKids, www.soulkids.org
4th June 2018

"Every child is born with a mind. No child is born with a mind-set " – Vikas Malkani

A positive mind-set doesn’t develop on its own, it must be created consciously.

At SoulKids we live with the understanding that every child is born with a mind, but not a mindset. This means that every child comes equipped with all the tools needed for perception and comprehension, but this still needs to be developed into a mindset that is either helpful or harmful. And that is the job of parents and teachers.

The greatest tool you can help your child create, is a positive mindset which also contains a strong and positive sense of self-esteem.

In my research I have found that the 2 important things we all seek in life are Happiness and Success, and that both of them are easier attained when one has a positive mindset and a strong self-confidence and self-esteem.

A positive mindset, once developed, will serve your child for the future and will help them to create happiness and success as they grow.

At SoulKids, we specialize in teaching children essential life skills through the use of wisdom stories, leadership games, teamwork skills, and lesson-based experiential learning, amongst other teaching tools.

SoulKids is highly effective in training children to create a positive mindset, raising children’s self-esteem and also gives them a strong foundation upon which to build further. In fact, we have won numerous awards in recognition of this excellence.

Let me share with you 3 simple ways you can inculcate a positive mindset, self-confidence and self-esteem in your child.

1) TRAIN YOUR MIND TO FEED POSITIVE THOUGHTS - Many years ago, I wrote a life-changing story which children love:

A grandmother and her 8-year-old grandson are walking down the road when they see 2 dogs fighting. As they watch, the grandson predicts that the bigger, stronger dog will win. He is soon proved right, as the stronger, bigger dog overpowers the smaller, weaker one.

The grandmother then tells her grandson ‘Like the dogs on the street, there are 2 dogs in your mind too. These 2 dogs are also fighting because they don’t get along. The first dog is your inner positive voice that encourages you, finds the good in you and always gives you confidence. The other dog is your inner negative voice that says you are not good enough, that everywhere there are problems, and it always lowers your self-esteem.’

She reminds him that he must always remember that even in his own mind, the bigger, stronger dog will win. And that whichever dog one feeds more, always becomes bigger and wins the fight.

This story teaches us that we must feed our positive thoughts and inner voice, to make it stronger, till it becomes our mindset.

Feeding positive thoughts repeatedly trains the mindset to become more positive. And since the mind is the filter through which we see everything in this world, it creates a positive perspective on life. The results are increased happiness and easier success as the child grows into an adult.

So, start your day with your child on a positive note. Remind your child that you love them; that you will always support and guide them to happiness and success. Be the most positive person you can be with your child. Feed your positive dog and feed your child’s positive dog too.

2) HELP YOUR CHILD LEARN TO DO THINGS - At every age, there are new things for kids to learn. When a child does something new, it gets them out of their zone of comfort and into their zone of discovery and growth; it makes them grow.

Doing new things is absolutely essential for the constant development of a child and also great for building a positive mind-set.

When teaching kids how to do things, show and help them at first. Then let them do what they can, even if they make mistakes. Be sure your child has lots of opportunities to learn, try, and feel proud. 

Don't make new challenges too easy — or too hard.

3) STOP NEGATIVE CRITICISM - 

The messages kids hear about themselves from others easily translate into how they feel about themselves. Harsh words such as ‘You're so lazy’ are harmful, and not motivating at all. When children absorb negative messages about themselves, especially from the parents or family, they feel bad about themselves, and act accordingly.

Never belittle your child's feelings. If you get angry take a short break so you don't say anything you'll regret later. And remember, you can dislike a child's actions without disliking the child.

Words have power, so be conscious of what you speak to and around your child.

In SoulKids we believe that a positive mindset is important because when children feel good about themselves, it sets them up for success — in everything from school to friendships. A positive mindset helps children try new challenges, cope with mistakes, and try again.

In contrast, children with a negative mindset feel unsure of themselves, think others won't accept them, and have a hard time standing up for themselves. They also give up on their goals and dreams easier and are unable to persist in the achieving worthy goals.

SoulKids is an award-winning training program of essential life-skills for children.

Read more about SoulKids here www.soulkids.org

The next SoulKids Self-Confidence program is coming up on 11 / 12  / 13 June. An ideal moment for your child to grow self-confidence and have fun during the school holidays at the same time.

For registration, click here.

For all upcoming SoulKids events click http://www.soulkids.org/events

One on One coaching sessions can be booked at your convenience by contacting the SoulKids Manager, Vidhya on soulkids@soulcentre.org.

How to raise a confident daughter?

How to raise a confident daughter?

By Vidhya Shailesh, SoulKids® Program Manager, www.soulkids.org16th April 2018

Confidence is a nurtured skill. As children grow up, they go through phases of confidence in their own abilities followed by phases of self-doubt. Peer pressure, comparisons with their friends, changing social environment all contribute towards their own self-belief. As girls grow up, body image issues, the need to be accepted and belong among others can affect their confidence. As parents or guardians, we can support them through these formative years to help them grow into confident young ladies.

1.    Encourage assertiveness

Encourage your daughters to stand up to their choices. Often when girls find their friends are making different choices, they feel compelled to choose otherwise. Encourage them to be assertive. Train them to stand by their choices, train them to make their own independent choices. It might start with simple choices like what to eat at a meal. Encourage them to make these choices often and stand up to them.

2.    Encourage competence

Teach her that competence takes effort and persistence. And it is only through persistent effort that competence is built. Encourage her to focus on her strengths and build on them. It doesn’t matter what her strengths might be – it could be academics, arts or sports or anything else that she is really keen on. With effort, she can keep growing and this leads to greater self-belief. Refrain from making assumptions on her strengths and weaknesses.

3.    Never compare her with others

Comparisons with friends, peers or siblings hurt a child’s confidence the most. It makes them feel they are not good enough. And with girls, this can have a much deeper impact. Remember, all children are special in their own way. Appreciate her efforts not just the results. Tell her often how she is doing something well, or what you think is special about her. Girls often need reassurance and this is where parents play an important role. Don’t judge her mistakes. Instead help her rise above them. Help them understand that mistakes are normal. Speak openly about your own failures or mistakes and embrace them. Avoid setting perfect ideals for her to live up to. Instead encourage effort and growth.

4.    Encourage a healthy body image

As young girls grow into their pre-teen years, body image plays a very important part. As their bodies change, encourage them to be accepting. Start by complementing them often. Girls are often lured by the images they see in magazines and can get caught up in their own idea of a perfect body. Tell them constantly how beautiful they are just as they are. Help them appreciate imperfection.

5.    Encourage them to have positive role models

Encourage your daughters to have positive role models. Help them see the effort that is put behind the success and the causes for which their role models stand. A positive role model can help inspire your daughter and encourage her to have the right mindset.

At SoulKids® we teach all children to believe in themselves. We teach them to be happy just they way they are, to never compare themselves with others and grow their own strengths. Essential skills such as this when taught early, lay the foundation for the rest of their growing up years. We work with many children on group programs and on one-on-one basis.

Parents can also learn how to inspire their own children and bring out the best in themselves. Our mentor training program is specifically designed to train adults in the SoulKids® philosophy. Mentor training happens only once a year and we have people flying in from all over the world to get trained. Mentor training in 2018 is happening from April 22-26. Sign up for this transformational training program and grow your own life and be a positive influence on everyone around you.

To find out more about our programs or one-on-one coaching, please visit www.soulkids.org or email us atsoulkids@soulcentre.org for more information. Register your children for our transformational programs and help them grow in confidence.