Playdates can be confusing….
Since I became a
SoulKids mentor last year, it seems that I developed a new way of living. The lessons
that I learned made me much more mindful in the things that I do and say. Being
a mommy of three young kids, I also feel that a lot of the SoulKids lessons and
skills come in very handy in handling all kinds of situations with my own kids.
I would like to share an experience with you that showcases how even little
things can be solved with a SoulKids lesson or story.
It’s about my son, a
very energetic and curious five-year old boy. He loves to play with his friends
in class, mainly boys. One day however, I arranged a playdate for him with a new
girl in his class. Both of them were really looking forward to it, counting the
nights. On the day itself, I brought him to school and in class I said to him
‘well, see you tonight and I hope you have lots of fun playing at Kelly’s
house!’. He smiled out of joy and excitement, until the other boys heard my
words and went ‘What? Are you going to play with Kelly? A GIRL????’. They
laughed at him and my son’s smile was gone. Was it weird to play with a girl? I
saw his confusion and anger because they were laughing at him. So, he turned to
Kelly and teased her, saying he would only play with her big brothers. Now
Kelly was sad too. I felt sorry for the two kids, since they were really
looking forward to this day and with only a few words from their classmates,
everything changed. Suddenly I remembered some important
SoulKids lessons. So I
took my son and Kelly apart and told them the following. ‘Both of you are very
special. You know that it doesn’t matter if you are a boy or a girl. Everyone
is unique and awesome! You can make your own choices. It’s great fun to play
with a girl when you’re a boy or the other way around. Because it is new, and
different. You two are very brave that you want to play with new friends. I’m
sure you will have a great playdate today, with new games and toys to explore
together. Don’t listen to the negative things the other kids are saying. They
are not used to new things. They don’t want you to do different things. Both of
you were so happy about this playdate. Don’t let other kids make you sad!’
I reminded my son of
the story of the Positive and Negative dog. Feed the positive dog, and you will
feel happy again. They smiled and fortunately they ignored the words of the
other boys in class from then on. They had a great afternoon. So, instead of
becoming angry at the other kids and focusing on them, we all focused on
ourselves and the good things in ourselves. That made the two kids confident
enough to play together more than once! Next time I will remind him of the
story of the Sunflower….
