Resilience - A much needed skill for children

Resilience – A much needed skill for Children

By Sally Forrest
BSc, MRPharmS, MBA.
11th September 2018

Resilience is the ability to pick yourself up when things do not go your way.
The ability to recover from setbacks and difficulties, the ability to have mental toughness.

Resilience is a skill that can be taught in children (and adults) and the earlier it is taught; the better life will become.
Life will not always go the way we expect it to, and this statement alone will change the way your child reacts to life.

Life often throws us a curve ball; Death of a loved one, Divorce, Redundancy, Moving Country, Loss of a Pet …the list is endless. The question we have to answer is “How do we deal with this new situation and how do we get our life back on track?"

Children are tough!
Do not treat them otherwise. Expose them to the Ups and Downs that life throws their way.

How can you develop Resilience in your child? Here are 4 easy steps:

1)    Talk OpenlyTalk about how you have dealt with issues in your own past, how did you feel, what actions did you take to get back on track and how you managed to turn life around once more.

2)    Expose them to other people’s experiences.If a friend has an issue then do not be the only one who offers support. Discuss the situation openly in the family and expose your children to life’s challenges at an early age.

3)    Accept that Change is normal.If we expect that life will always be the same, then we will sadly be disappointed. Explain to your child the concept of life cycles, show them this in nature. At an early age get them to understand that everything will one day pass away. Demonstrate this with the seasons in nature - the leaves fall, the grass grows and is harvested, butterflies are here for a short time and then move on.
The sooner we all accept that each day that passes is one less day we have to live on this wonderful planet, then the sooner we start to appreciate all the good things we have in life.

4)    Nurture positivity.Self-confidence and a positive outlook in life will see you through any crisis. Develop the attitude that “no matter what happens in life, I can deal with it”.

Whenever your child has an issue, do not jump in and solve it for them. Ask them questions to get them to suggest answers and ways forward.

At SoulKids we offer one on one coaching for your child in addition to group programs.
Please do connect and register your child for one of our upcoming workshops: soulkids@soulcentre.org

How to manage stress in children

How to manage stress in children

By Vikas Malkani
Founder of SoulKids®, www.soulkids.org13th August 2018

The task of raising children and making them future ready, brings many challenges. From academic stress, to teenage issues; from low self-esteem to intense peer pressure, children face it all in their years of learning and growing.

And parents feel the stress too. Parenting is one the most challenging jobs there is. It tests our patience, positivity and persistence. It can bring out our inner potential, or it can kill it completely.

The word 'stress' originates from the French word 'estrece' meaning 'narrowness' and depicts a limiting or constriction of our power and abilities.

We have the feeling of being stressed out when we think we have too much to handle either on a mental, emotional or physical level. Stress also occurs when we view change and pressure as burdens rather than as challenges.

Interestingly, what makes a person stress-full may be quite an ordinary event for another person. The secret to releasing stress is to realize that stress is created not by the event or circumstance itself, but by the way we respond to what happens to us.

Decide today to live a life that’s free of stress. The first step to this is learning how to manage stress when it crops up. It's never too late to make your children and the job of parenting, stress-free and joyful. Remember - Life is too short to postpone happiness until the conditions are just perfect.

Here are 3 stress management tips that lead to greater happiness for you and your children.

TIP 1 - START YOUR DAY WITH GRATITUDE

All of us have a lot to be grateful for, but most times, we don’t realize it. Children take for granted whatever their parents provide for them.

Train your children to start every day with 5 minutes of focusing on gratitude. Gratitude helps to cultivate a positive mind-set. Remember, as your day begins, you don’t know what the day will bring to you, but you can decide what you will bring to this day! So, choose to bring a grateful and happy ‘you’ to your day and see the benefits happen.

If you constantly think about what is wrong or what you lack, you will be more stressed out. Instead, spend 5 minutes before you get active in the morning reminding yourself what is great in your life. You can do this exercise together with your children at the start of the day.

TIP 2 – MEDITATE

In every situation, you always have two choices - either curse the darkness, or light a candle.  Meditation helps you to train your mind to choose the more positive attitude.

Simply put, stress is the result of the way you think. And if you develop the ability to change the way you think, you will have in your hands the power to manage stress regardless of what the causes may be.

Stress arises out of the way you think, and since meditation is the skill of training your mind, and becoming aware of your thoughts, meditation is also one of the most effective antidotes to stress. Negative thinking produces stress and thinking positively releases it, it’s that simple in most cases. 

Invest in meditation. Find an authentic and reputable teacher and make sure you and your children learn the skills of meditation. Training your mind through the ancient science of meditation shows you the way to create your own happiness and joy.

So, find a good teacher and learn the skills of meditation and mindfulness. Countless studies have shown that meditation and mindfulness help you to manage stress better.

TIP 3 – PERFECTION DOESN’T HAPPEN

It’s a fact that we all have imperfections. This includes your children too; remember that they are not perfect and are not meant to be, they are wonderful and unique just the way they are and your job as a parent is not to make them different, but rather to make them the best version of who they authentically are.

Expecting your children to be perfect will create more stress, I promise. So ease up a little, check the expectations you carry and lower them if necessary, and see how much more you can enjoy parenting and your life. You will be happily surprised.  

Trying to control every moment and outcome of your life will always cause more stress for you. Instead, release a bit of control, take the action the present moment requires, and then, stop clinging to the results.

There are also important lessons adults can learn from children about managing stress. Here is one - HAVE FUN. Being around children has taught me the simple power of pursuing fun -- again and again. A simple game like hide and seek can keep a child happy and occupied for hours. The price of the game: nothing. The fun: priceless.

But fun doesn't just happen. You have to make it a priority in your life or it won’t happen. Life's too short to not have it. In my perspective, life is what you make it to be, nothing more, nothing less.

So HAVE FUN with your children and make your family happier and stress free!

If you wish to become a stress-free parent, I highly recommend our ‘Meditation Made Simple’ program as the perfect first step. 

Click here to see dates and register http://www.soulcentre.org/events

Vikas Malkani is an authority and one of the world’s leading teachers of meditation and mindfulness. He has taught the secrets of meditation to CEO’s, Hollywood Stars, Royalty, Entrepreneurs, Doctors, Psychologists and Sports Champions.

SoulCentre is Asia’s Premier Centre for Meditation, Mindfulness & Stress-Management. www.soulcentre.org

SoulKids is an award-winning life skills program that makes children future-ready by teaching them leadership, resilience, emotional intelligence, teamwork and more.

Find out more about SoulKids programs and one-on-one coaching here www.soulkids.org or email us at info@soulcentre.org

How SoulKids Changed My Life

How SoulKids Changed My Life

By Sashwika S Venkatraman
SoulKids Ambassador, www.soulkids.org

30th July 2018

Hello, my name is Sashwika and I am 14 years old.

Today I would like to talk about my experience with SoulKids and how it has helped and changed me throughout my growing years. I know that as teens it is crucial to develop a healthy mindset and that is a fundamental step that leads to a happy and successful future.

I began my SoulKids journey at the age of 9. Frankly, at that time I didn’t know what I was signing up for. I was a shy, introverted kid that just did what my mum insisted on. I remember on the way to SoulKids my mother was excited and kept talking about how beneficial this was going to be for me. I didn't really believe her at that time but I am who I am today because of this step my mother took for me and SoulKids really did change my life.

SoulKids has played a significant role in making me into the positive person I am today. The environment at SoulKids was so open, positive and friendly. The mentors were friendly and at the end of the session, you wouldn't want to leave. It was a very safe space and you could happily speak your mind without being judged or feeling shy. At SoulKids, critical life lessons are conveyed in engaging ways. We learn these through many stories and games that are both interesting and fun. SoulKids has been such a game changer in my life and I will now share with you how.

When I had just started SoulKids at the age of 9, I was kind but very shy. I wouldn’t speak my mind and would hide from social situations in school. I wasn’t worried about this until I started to get bullied. I kept questioning everything. Why was I getting bullied when nothing was wrong with me? How come I got targeted just because I was slightly different, I mean wasn’t everyone different in their own way? For a while, I was trying to hold my ground but soon I started to develop insecurities relating to my personality, appearance, and ethnicity. I was so sad coming back from school and I felt like life was so unfair. I would constantly cry and wish I was someone else till I came to SoulKids.

Two SoulKids stories really stuck with me then and continue to do so even now. These stories taught me that my happiness was in my own hands, not in other people’s control. I had the power to make myself happy and no one could take that away from me. This gave me a new outlook on life and I started to consciously make an effort to think positive.

As teenagers, we continue to face challenges in the form of peer pressure or the media. Social media plays a huge role in our lives. Yes, it has its benefits such as the ability to communicate with others and make new friends and catch up but it can have a negative effect as well. It can often set unrealistic standards for both behaviour and appearance which can be quite harmful to a teenagers mental and physical health. Not to forget the bullying that can also happen. The SoulKids lessons have always helped me keep myself in check.

The lessons are deeply ingrained in my mind. I now realize and believe that I am unique and special in my own way and I should love myself for that. The most important thing I learnt was that you should never compare yourself to others because you are you and not them. This has had a great impact on my thoughts and helped me feel more confident about myself. It has helped me focus on everything I like about myself and enjoy doing. I am a happier person now and I am no longer an insecure girl that was defined by others standards. SoulKids taught me to be the best me that I could be and that completely changed me.  

As I am only 14, I understand that these aren't the only obstacles that are in my path. There are many more to come but through SoulKids I have the confidence that I can manage them no matter what and keep a positive mind always. Whenever my life takes a turn I always look at it from a different perspective instead of getting flustered, angry or sad. There is always a SoulKids story or lesson to go back to. My method of dealing with issues has changed and I am able to help those around me to be the best people they can be as well. When I look at myself now I realise that I am the confident, positive girl all thanks to my SoulKids experience. 

My gratitude goes entirely to SoulKids for helping me become the person I am today. I wish all children could experience SoulKids just like me!

Best Regards,
Sashwika

SoulKids is an award-winning training program of essential life-skills for children.

Read more about SoulKids here www.soulkids.org

The next SoulKids Self-Confidence program is coming up on 6 / 7  / 8  August. An ideal moment for your child to grow self-confidence and have fun during the school holidays at the same time.

For registration, click here.

For all upcoming SoulKids events click http://www.soulkids.org/events

One on One coaching sessions can be booked at your convenience by contacting the SoulKids Manager, Vidhya on soulkids@soulcentre.org

A flying start for SoulKids® Romania

A flying start for SoulKids® Romania

By Dana Ilies, SoulKids Mentor
16th July 2018

I want to start with a quote I got from Vikas in one of his Life Lessons about how to overcome challenges and changes that come into our lives:

“Turn your mess into a message”

This quote matches my story very well.

It all started in Singapore where my husband had the opportunity to work for Marina Bay Sands, a big company and a beautiful building with an infinity swimming pool on 57th floor. We were so happy and of course we took the chance.

Singapore was amazing. We had the expat life with all the benefits and were happy there.
One day I was drawn to a Facebook post in which SoulCentre was recruiting for office support and I decided to apply. Sally gave me the opportunity to join a team of awesome people. The day I stepped inside the office was the beginning of an amazing journey. Vikas and Sally are the best mentors in the world, and the support I got everyday from them is priceless. I can say without a doubt that they made me shine.

When Sally offered me the chance to take the SoulKids Mentor training I said yes without a single doubt in my mind. If I were to reccomend a single, unique training in the whole world that will have the most impact on yourself, I’ll reccomend the SoulKids Mentor Training. It changed my life.
After becoming a SoulKids Mentor I had the opportunity to participate in many SoulKids programs and the SoulKids Manager, Vidhya Shailesh was the best support and mentor one could wish.

Everything about our life in Singapore seemed perfect, except for the fact that our two daughters were in Romania. We were missing them a lot and in the back of our minds the thought of going back was always there.

It all came to an end when my husband’s work contract ended and we had to return. From Singapore to Bucharest is a big step to take, and most of our friends and family thought that this step would turn out to be a bad one.
However, being a SoulKids Mentor, I learnt to always think positive and believe in myself. The lessons I taught to children all that time were now so useful for my own life.

Never give up! You are awesome! Be the best you that you can be! Follow your passion!

I did not even have to think about what I was going to do in Bucharest. Children in Romania can also benefit from the SoulKids Program.

We landed on 3rd of April and my first SoulKids Program in Romania was scheduled on 19th May.  I was completely unknown and SoulKids a brand new word for people in Romania. My drive was the fact that this program can make a huge difference in children’s lives and it is something unique. In no time the first program, SoulKids QuickStart, was sold out!

It was the first time doing it on my own and in Romanian, but the systems that Sally put into place for the management of the program were so helpful. I can say without any doubt that Sally is the most organised person I know. With her system you can’t go wrong even if you are doing it for the first time. Her check lists were very helpful and for me life saving!!

The program was a success, I got very good feedback from both parents and children and from there it all started to grow.
I started on 19th May, and by 5th July I successfully finished 5 SoulKids programs.
32 children had fun and learnt important life lessons for their future.

I’m looking forward to a bright future and I feel blessed for having the chance to make such a profound impact on the lives of Romanian children with this program.

I finish my story with an amazing feedback I got from one of the parents:

“ Since this morning Rares is a different child. In the morning he would usually ask for his phone to play on and to eat breakfast in bed, this morning he woke up, made his bed, brushed his teeth, went to his room and changed his clothes, prepared himself milk and cereals which he heated in the microwave and all this without anyone telling him anything. What can I say, he is a different child.”

Rares attented one of the SoulKids QuikStart programs. Because he wants more, he registered for the SoulKids Self-confidence program in the following week.

Thank you Vikas Malkani and Sally Forrest for creating this program and giving me the chance to share SoulKids to Romanian children and thank you Vidhya Shailesh for your guidance and mentoring on so many SoulKids programs in Singapore.

When you do what you LOVE and you LOVE what you do the results are amazing.

My advice for everyone out there who feels low and does not see a bright future ahead, is to find your passion and let it be your work or business. The results will be over the top!

To find out more about our programs for children, please visit www.soulkids.org or email us at:soulkids@soulcentre.org (Singapore)info@danailies.ro (Romania)

We offer group programs for different age groups of children and even offer one-on-one coaching if your child requires specific help and guidance. 

Digital Addiction – How to help my teenager

Digital Addiction – How to help my teenager

ByVidhya Shailesh
SoulKids® Program Manager, www.soulkids.org
2nd July 2018

The world we live in right now is massively different from the one we used to live in as children. Among the many changes, the digital revolution has been one that has changed our lives in many ways. Mobiles, tablets, laptops are no longer a luxury any more – they are a way of life.

While technology has its advantages, it is essential that we remain mindful of the ill effects of the same. With laptops and mobile phones becoming a necessary part of every child’s growing years and part of their learning in school, it is all the more necessary that we inculcate the right habits from the start among children.

We cannot live in our own little bubble and avoid technology completely. Instead we must learn to embrace it with the right habits. Here are a few ways we can do the same.

1. Accept don't resist
Once we have given our children access to mobiles or laptops, there is no point resisting it and fighting over why they spend so much time on it. If in your teenage years you spent hours speaking to your friends on the phone, today the children do it on WhatsApp or snapchat. It is a part of their growing up years and constantly blaming them for it only creates a very negative environment. Instead encourage open communication. Discuss what they watch / do on their computers openly. Perhaps watch some of the shows with them. This helps foster a sense of openness and helps them be honest with you. Confrontation will only make them lie.

2. Encourage them to segregate screen time
Children need to be guided to understand how hours can be spent on your digital equipment. What might start as a simple google search might end up in hours of aimless reading. Help them understand this. Encourage them to set aside specific times for the tasks that they are doing. For example, if it is a school evening, encourage them to leave their phones on silent while they do their work. There are apps like focus available for computers as well which can help you block out any form of distractions for specific periods of time. This helps them focus on getting their work done. And once the work is complete, they can catch up on any messages on their phones. Cultivate a sense of responsibility for their own school work.

3. Encourage healthy habits like taking frequent breaks from their computers. Encourage them to put their digital devices away while they are in the company of people. Perhaps family time is a good way to start. Encourage them to set aside their devices during family time and make sure you do the same. Let this time be one where everyone engages in conversation perhaps over a meal or while doing an activity together.

4. Encourage them to spend lots of time in the outdoors. Perhaps playing their favorite sport or going for a run or a walk or biking. This is a great way to beat stress during exams, to help clear your mind and energize the body.

5. Encourage them to develop a love for reading. 
Make it a habit to help them pick out a few books to read during their holidays. Frequent trips to the library can ensure they have enough to read in their spare time. This will also ensure they don’t just sit with their phones the entire time. Encourage them to keep a wish list of books that they would like to read. And every time there is a holiday, help them source the books so they can keep themselves engaged.

While the distractions that digital devices provide are plenty, they must understand that there is a lot more they can do without it too. Lead them by example, let them see you put away your devices for specific periods of time. Some of these habits when inculcated early can help your teenagers develop the right approach towards digital distractions.

Life-skills education can go a long way in encouraging the right mindset towards life and the many distractions in it including digital distractions. At SoulKids® we teach children essential life-skills that help them create their own happiness and success.

To find out more about our programs for children, please visit www.soulkids.org or email us at soulkids@soulcentre.org for more information. We offer group programs for different age groups and even offer one-on-one coaching if your child requires specific help and guidance.

Why I Love SoulKids

By Ikabella Heaps
SoulKids Ambassador, www.soulkids.org

18th June 2018

Hello! My name is Ikabella and I’m 14 years old. I am a proud SoulKids ambassador! 

Today, I would like to share with you my experience in SoulKids and how it has impacted my life as a teenager. I believe the learnings we have as teens have the most everlasting impact on our lives and it’s important that we equip ourselves with a proper mindset along with life skills. 

I first started SoulKids when I was about 9 or 10 years old, my mother was keen on signing me up at the SoulKid’s self-confidence workshop because she thought that it would be very beneficial for me in the long run. She was definitely right as the fun and engaging lessons have definitely taught me something special. 

SoulKids is not like any other program that you will attend, it is a fun and meaningful experience that will last you for a very long time! One of the reasons why I really love SoulKids is that the lessons are very engaging and impactful! They are conducted in a way where the children are able to participate and engage actively in the session which really give a memorable experience. As children, we do not really think much of it, but when we look back and reflect, a bigger conclusion can be drawn from the experiences. SoulKids has definitely been able to help me achieve this outcome!  And so, I will share with you next on how it has impacted me.

Being a teen, it’s sometimes difficult to cope with the ever changing expectations society has of us. The media in this case has a very big role to play in this setting, an example is the unrealistic portrayal on how people should look like. This, in my belief, has a massive impact on teens like myself. Teens go to different extents to try to achieve this “amazing goal” as the media says. These heights that teens sometimes go to is often detrimental to - both mental and physical health, we start to lose ourselves and dislike ourselves for who we are. 

However in SoulKids one very important lesson I’ve learnt is the true value of oneself, it is not determined by one’s looks or how others view them, but what is truly on the inside. Pushing yourself to be someone that you know is not you does not prove your self worth or being. I believe that knowing our personal value will help us to be able to accept and love ourselves for who we are, not being told by the media that this is how you should look so on and so forth. SoulKids has really helped me put  this mindset in to action and apply in my daily life! 

I would like to end off my sharing by saying I am very grateful that I have been given this opportunity to share my thoughts and experiences with all of you! Hopefully this compels you to try out a SoulKids workshop and see the change from within!

Thank you again for the amazing opportunities you have given to me! 

Regards, 
Ikabella

SoulKids is an award-winning training program of essential life-skills for children.

Read more about SoulKids here www.soulkids.org

The next SoulKids Self-Confidence program is coming up on 6 / 7  / 8  August. An ideal moment for your child to grow self-confidence and have fun during the school holidays at the same time.

For registration, click here.

For all upcoming SoulKids events click http://www.soulkids.org/events

One on One coaching sessions can be booked at your convenience by contacting the SoulKids Manager, Vidhya on soulkids@soulcentre.org. 

How to Develop a Positive Mindset in Children

HOW TO DEVELOP A POSITIVE MINDSET IN CHILDREN

By Vikas Malkani, Founder of SoulKids, www.soulkids.org
4th June 2018

"Every child is born with a mind. No child is born with a mind-set " – Vikas Malkani

A positive mind-set doesn’t develop on its own, it must be created consciously.

At SoulKids we live with the understanding that every child is born with a mind, but not a mindset. This means that every child comes equipped with all the tools needed for perception and comprehension, but this still needs to be developed into a mindset that is either helpful or harmful. And that is the job of parents and teachers.

The greatest tool you can help your child create, is a positive mindset which also contains a strong and positive sense of self-esteem.

In my research I have found that the 2 important things we all seek in life are Happiness and Success, and that both of them are easier attained when one has a positive mindset and a strong self-confidence and self-esteem.

A positive mindset, once developed, will serve your child for the future and will help them to create happiness and success as they grow.

At SoulKids, we specialize in teaching children essential life skills through the use of wisdom stories, leadership games, teamwork skills, and lesson-based experiential learning, amongst other teaching tools.

SoulKids is highly effective in training children to create a positive mindset, raising children’s self-esteem and also gives them a strong foundation upon which to build further. In fact, we have won numerous awards in recognition of this excellence.

Let me share with you 3 simple ways you can inculcate a positive mindset, self-confidence and self-esteem in your child.

1) TRAIN YOUR MIND TO FEED POSITIVE THOUGHTS - Many years ago, I wrote a life-changing story which children love:

A grandmother and her 8-year-old grandson are walking down the road when they see 2 dogs fighting. As they watch, the grandson predicts that the bigger, stronger dog will win. He is soon proved right, as the stronger, bigger dog overpowers the smaller, weaker one.

The grandmother then tells her grandson ‘Like the dogs on the street, there are 2 dogs in your mind too. These 2 dogs are also fighting because they don’t get along. The first dog is your inner positive voice that encourages you, finds the good in you and always gives you confidence. The other dog is your inner negative voice that says you are not good enough, that everywhere there are problems, and it always lowers your self-esteem.’

She reminds him that he must always remember that even in his own mind, the bigger, stronger dog will win. And that whichever dog one feeds more, always becomes bigger and wins the fight.

This story teaches us that we must feed our positive thoughts and inner voice, to make it stronger, till it becomes our mindset.

Feeding positive thoughts repeatedly trains the mindset to become more positive. And since the mind is the filter through which we see everything in this world, it creates a positive perspective on life. The results are increased happiness and easier success as the child grows into an adult.

So, start your day with your child on a positive note. Remind your child that you love them; that you will always support and guide them to happiness and success. Be the most positive person you can be with your child. Feed your positive dog and feed your child’s positive dog too.

2) HELP YOUR CHILD LEARN TO DO THINGS - At every age, there are new things for kids to learn. When a child does something new, it gets them out of their zone of comfort and into their zone of discovery and growth; it makes them grow.

Doing new things is absolutely essential for the constant development of a child and also great for building a positive mind-set.

When teaching kids how to do things, show and help them at first. Then let them do what they can, even if they make mistakes. Be sure your child has lots of opportunities to learn, try, and feel proud. 

Don't make new challenges too easy — or too hard.

3) STOP NEGATIVE CRITICISM - 

The messages kids hear about themselves from others easily translate into how they feel about themselves. Harsh words such as ‘You're so lazy’ are harmful, and not motivating at all. When children absorb negative messages about themselves, especially from the parents or family, they feel bad about themselves, and act accordingly.

Never belittle your child's feelings. If you get angry take a short break so you don't say anything you'll regret later. And remember, you can dislike a child's actions without disliking the child.

Words have power, so be conscious of what you speak to and around your child.

In SoulKids we believe that a positive mindset is important because when children feel good about themselves, it sets them up for success — in everything from school to friendships. A positive mindset helps children try new challenges, cope with mistakes, and try again.

In contrast, children with a negative mindset feel unsure of themselves, think others won't accept them, and have a hard time standing up for themselves. They also give up on their goals and dreams easier and are unable to persist in the achieving worthy goals.

SoulKids is an award-winning training program of essential life-skills for children.

Read more about SoulKids here www.soulkids.org

The next SoulKids Self-Confidence program is coming up on 11 / 12  / 13 June. An ideal moment for your child to grow self-confidence and have fun during the school holidays at the same time.

For registration, click here.

For all upcoming SoulKids events click http://www.soulkids.org/events

One on One coaching sessions can be booked at your convenience by contacting the SoulKids Manager, Vidhya on soulkids@soulcentre.org.